So, we all know how it feels to not have motivation, to want to stay in bed and to feel totally unloved, right? Even if just once, every one of us has felt that at some point.
What to do then?
- Remember you are enough
No matter how much you feel like you’re lacking in skill, ability, intelligence, looks, education- whatever plagues you, basicly, with insecurity and fear. You are enough. There is no wrong way to be a human being, you just are and that’s it.
There is always room for improvement and growth – but you don’t have to force yourself into it. Wherever you are on your journey now, that is ok. That is enough. YOU are truly enough.
- List all the good things you have
Seems like such a cliché, I know. But it works; honest!
I have made a list of all the good things I have – thinking on those that are less fortunate in so many ways to help me recognize the plentifulness that is around – and it made me feel so much better about my life and filled me with will to do and be more: more myself, more true, more fulfilled, more hopeful. And to give more: of my love, my time, my attention and my drive – to those who might need it, to the world, to those I love, to myself.
Every now and then, most frequently than not, I falter. I forget that list. I forget to be thankful for all the things that most of us take for granted and even for those exceptional ones that are truly extraordinary things/people/events to be thankful for. I go back to the list. I re-do it, mentally. I re-write it, I add to it. Like a scrapbook of thankfulness that just keeps adding. And it feels good.
Give it a try, sometime. I know it’ll make a difference, it did and does to me. And while you’re at it, make a list of your dreams, aspirations and goals (no matter what they are, they are valid and enough – unless you plan the decimation of Mankind, which I highly advice against, :p ) – seeing thoase two lists, together, might just give you the boost you need to achieve some of those thigns you want. Or it might put things into perspective, at least.
- Recognize all the good and loving people in your life
That feeling of being recognized and appreciated. Don’t we all crave it? I believe it to be inherent to human condition, indeed.
You want to feel loved, to feel wanted, appreciated. You want to be heard, and seen. We all do.
Sometimes, that feeling doesn’t come. You inner voices make it feel like we’re unloved, unappreciated, alone. Like a burden to those around us. It is mostly just that: our inner dialogue, pulling us down, feeding off of our emotions, insecurities and needs.
Recognize yourself. Appreciate yourself (see 1. : you are enough and worthy of love). Love yourself (another cliché, I know. There’s a reason these are clichés and it is not only repetition). Start from there, even if just a little bit, every day. A pat on your own back: you did good at work, you cooked your own dinner, you were able to remain calm during a stressful moment, etc. It really is the little things – this gives you perspective. And compassion. Towards yourselves and to others.
From there, it is a small step to showing appreciation towards the people in your life. Depending on where your relationship with yourself is, sometimes it is even easier to do this bit than the previous one.
A “Thank You”, a “I like having you around”, any kind words that truly and honestly express the good feelings you have towards that person. It makes such a huge difference! In them. In making sure they know. In ourselves. I have lost people I didn’t have the chance to fully show how much I loved and appreciated tham and how thankful I was for their being in my life and accepting me even when I was rejecting myself so painfully. I don’t ever want anyone to leave my life (whichever way it might be) without having at known once, even if just a bit, something about my feelings for them and the goodness they brought me.
Bonus (for reaching this far): A little TED for entertainment and education
What are your thoughts? Have done any of these things? Will you try them?
Let me know your experiences and opinios, I am always glad to learn new perspectives!
Estamos a 9 dias do Natal. Menos ainda, apenas 5 dias nos separam do Yule, Solistício de Inverno – que assinala o dia mais curto em horas de luz do ano e promete mais Sol a cada dia que passa.
Devia estar entusiasmada. Devia pensar em presentes, em comidinhas gostosas, em decorações.
Não estou. Não há foto temática nos meus perfis nas redes sociais – excepto a do anjo que adorna a frente da igreja, que ontem pus no Instagram, porque achei bonitinho. Não há árvore nem decorações lá em casa. Não há a playlist de Natal que o ano passado me atormentava com prazer todo o dia, que tenho no YouTube (em vez disso, ando a ouvir isto). Não há planos, nem presentes comprados, nem viagens planeadas.
Há vazio. Há saudade. Há dúvida. Há uma certa solidão. Há um toque de desespero – ou uma sensação de não ter chão, de estar um pouco perdida. Há questões sobre o sentido de viver como vivemos, de fazer as coisas como fazemos. Há medos primitivos sobre velhice, desamparo, doença, perda.
Creio que não estarei só neste sentimento. Creio que sei, de certa forma, que não estou. O mundo está a evoluir, a mudar e isso dói – todo o planeta está em sofrimento agora mesmo. Toda a Humanidade está em sofrimento agora mesmo. Growing pains, é a minha esperança. Uma viragem para algo diferente, melhor do que destruição e dor que temos agora. Eu estou a mudar e a evoluir e isso implica desorientação, confusão, dor, medo. Que o que cresce em mim seja diferente, melhor, também – e que consiga espalhar isso pelo mundo.
Uma parte de mim sabe que provavelmente daqui a um dia ou dois, o Espírito da época – aquela parte boa e bucólica – vai chegar a mim. Depois, logo se vê. Agora, a única coisa que quero do Natal é sossego.
Ainda assim: Festas Felizes – seja Natal, Kwanza, Hanukkah, Yule ou nada de religioso – e Paz na Terra a TODOS os Homens (e Mulheres)!
E porque hoje é dia de ensaio geral; porque amanhã é dia de concerto do Oasis Voices, no Auditório do Alto dos Moinhos às 21h, deixo aqui a pérola que me tem tocado mentalmente non-stop nos últimos dias:
escrito originalmente em 2010 – actualizado para hoje.