Tag Archive | English

On Wednesdays we do words: readings

Parece que preparar-me para publicar no blog numa regularidade semanal de dia fixo está a funcionar para mim.

Esta regularidade com tempo adicionado para pensar no que vou escrever aparentemente é boa para mim, espermos que consiga transformá-la num hábito.

Esta semana assinalou o começo de uma espécie de clube do livro, que definimos como um almoço literário semanal – e começámos por partilhar alguns objectivos pessoais de leitura para 2018, para que nos possamos apoiar e incentivar umas às outras.

Para mim, 2018 em leituras e livros esperançosamente será assim:

  • Desafio do Goodreads definido a 33 livros para este ano.
  • Qeuro ler mais em Português, especialmente autores de língua oficial portuguesa (pelo menos 1/3 das minhas leituras)
  • Quero ler um livro em Francês (tenho Os Miseráveis em mente – e na conta kindle – mas isso pode mudar)
  • Quero ler um género que nunca tenha lido – a considerar biografia, pois creio que nunca li e assustam-me um pouco.

Olhando para isto agora, escrito, talvez tenha tido mais olhos que barriga, tendo em conta que tenho vários interesses diversos e quero dedicar tempo a todos eles! Logo veremos… agora tenho-vos a todos que leram estas palavras para virem “cobrar” de mim.

E vocês? Lêem muito? Nem por isso? Quais são os vossos objectivos /desafios de leituras para este ano, se tiverem alguns? Sugestões de livros são sempre bem-vindas, especialmente se me desafiarem a ir longe dos meus habituais (fantasia, ficção científica e etc.)!

Seems like getting ready to post on a weekly, scheduled basis is kind of working for me.

This regularity but with time added to think on what to write appears to be a good thing for me, let’s hope I can make a habit out of it!

This week signaled the start of a sort of book club, which we set up as a weekly literary lunch – and we started by sharing some personal reading goals for 2018, so we can keep each other accountable in a way.

For me, 2018 in readings and books aims to be as follows:

  • Goodreads challenge set at 33 books for this year.
  • Want to read more in Portuguese, especially Portuguese native authors (at least 1/3 of my readings)
  • Want to read a book in French (have Les Misérables in mind – and in my kindle account – but that can change)
  • Want to read a genre/type I never read – considering biography, as I believe I never read one and they kind of scare me.

Looking at it now, written down, seems like I might be in over my head, as I have such diverse interests and would like to dedicate time to all of them! We’ll see…now I have all of you that read these words to keep me accountable as well!

How about you? Big readers? Not so much? Let me know your reading goals for 2018 if you have any; book suggestions are also greatly appreciated – challenge me to go beyond my usuals (fantasy, sci-fi type things)!

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– home –

take me
to a place where
I can be free
where
I can be me
take me?
should I
take myself, should I
make this place
the one
I dream of?
it’s in my hands
in my power
in my mind
the stenght
and
the way to
find it
go
make it.

 

17 October 2017

Thought

Taking into
Careful consideration
I ponder.

Tires me, this thinking
Constant
Persistent.

Yet I do not know
how or when
could it stop.

To be is to think
to think is to be
Am I being or thinking me?

(free writing, as it flowed into my mind, on the afternoon of September 29th – no edits whatsoever)

Desabafando | Letting it out

Já se passou algum tempo. Ando a evitar chatear-vos muito com os meus dramas interiores e batalhas mentais, mas depois penso que este espaço foi feito para a partilha. Não só daquilo que “produzo” artisticamente, mas de mim – pelo sentido de conexão e união, de pertença até, que isso possa trazer: para vocês que me lêem e para mim que escrevo ( e recebo os vossos comentários e opiniões, que me enriquecem de tantas formas).

Ando irrequieta, interiormente. Sinto que se aproxima uma grande mudança, que de certa forma fui eu que pus em movimento, mas não estou preparada. Cheia de medos, de questões, de incertezas. Não ajuda que este instinto não seja algo de concreto, relativo ao que mudará em que aspecto da minha vida e como – é apenas aquela sensação intensa de que alguma coisa vai mudar, vai acabar, vai dar uma volta. E com essa sensação vem alguma angústia – o que me deixa ainda mais irrequieta e mais preocupada nesta cabeça de hiper-pensadora, ruminadora – que me enche de preocupação e de temores e me deixa paranóica.

Vamos a ver o que os próximos tempos me trazem, depois da confusão que foi o mês de Agosto em termos de relações familiares e estabilidade emocional…torçam por mim, sim?

It has been a while. I have been avoiding to nagg you too much with my inner dramas and mental battles, but then I think that this space was created for sharing. Not only what I “produce” artistically, but myself – for the sense of connection and union, even belonging, that it may bring: for you that read me and for me writing (and receiving your comments and opinions, which enrich me in so many ways).

I have been feeling restless inside. Feeling like a big change is coming, on that it was me who set in motion in some ways, but I am not ready. Filled with fears, questions, uncertainties. It does not help that this instinct is not defined, in regards to what is going to change in which aspect of my life and how – it is just this instense sentationthat something is going to change, to end, to take a turn, a 180º. With that sensation in comes some anguish – which makes me even more restless and more worried in this overthinking ruminating head of mine- which fills me up with worries and fears and makes me paranoid.

Let us see what times will bring, after the confusion all of August was in family relations and emotional stability…fingers crossed for me, ok?

Actualização ao Domingo | Sunday update

Ora eu sou uma rapariga que gosta de aprender coisas mas, ao mesmo tempo, sou preguiçosa e desisto com alguma facilidade – ou pelo menos, não mantenho a regularidade que gostaria nos hobbies que tenho e nas aprendizagens em que me meto.

A prova disso é esta mantinha que está em progresso desde o Inverno passado:

Well, I am a girl who likes to learn stuff but, simultaneously, I am lazy and give up kind of easy – or, at least, I am unable to keep the regularity I would like in doing my hobbies and the learnings I set up for.

Proof of that is this small blanket, a work in progress since last Winter:

Além do novelo que está a ser usado, ainda falta mais um para o projecto estar acabado. Tenho também um cachecol iniciado em que nunca mais peguei, mas esse faço num instante – e no que toca a tricot, são essas duas coisas que sei fazer, lol!

Tenho muitos interesses que são bastante dispersos, diga-se de passagem. Isso talvez contribua muito para a minha inconstância em fazer coisas que gosto ou aprender coisas que quero fazer.

Estas últimas semanas dediquei-me a aprender crochet, que é uma prática mais amiga do calor que o tricot, especialmente com lã. E hoje terminei a primeira peça, depois de começar e desfazer várias vezes até atinar com o padrão:

Besides the skein that is now in use, there is still another one to be worked into it before this project is completed. I also have a scarf that I have started and have not worked on in like forever, but that one I know I am able to finish in a jiffy – and when it comes to knitting, those two things are all I know how to make.

These last two weeks, I have been working on learning crochet, a practice which is friendlier to do during hot weather that knitting, especially with wool. Today, I have finished my first piece, after having started it and undone it several times until I had the pattern figured out:

Aqui temos o resultado final:

Here is the final result:

Graças a tutoriais no YouTube, tanto em português como em inglês, lá percebi a base da coisa…estou entusiasmada e vou continuar a praticar e a aprender! Com esta base e linha suficiente, já faço uma bela mantinha!

Mais novidades em breve!

Thanks to YouTube tutorials, both in English and Portuguese, I got the basics… I am very enthusiastic and will continue to practice and learn! With this foundation and enough thread, I am able to do a nice blanket!

More news soon!

I have been (over)thinking

I feel restless. I feel miserable. I feel lost.

I really don’t know what to do with myself lately. Can anyone relate to this feeling of helplessness, where you know that something has do be done but you have no idea what or how? Has anyone overcome a stage like this that can give me any pointers or tips on how to go about this incredible need for something (I really don’t know what), for change, for purpose?

Family matters are tense, to be soft on it. I find myself very much on my own when it comes to close blood ties. My relationship with my mother tends to deteriorate further and further with each interaction and I do not know how to go about it right now except distancing myself, for all it does is hurt me and bring me further down. Then, this distancing – perhaps even severing ties (at least for the time being) – also hurts me and brings me further down, fills me with fears of being all alone in the world, helpess and unsupported and just sort of…orphaned.

I know I am not: I have other family that I feel would lend a helping hand and be there for me, as well as good friends – the family I chose and that chose me – who wish to see me well, desire me to be close to them and would extend a helping hand whenever needed. I have my guy, supportive and caring, ever more patient towards my quirks that annoy him – really making the effort for us to be all we can as a team, as partners, as companions. Yet this person, my mother, is one of the grandest foundations of my life, along with being also a source of many of my “traumas” – I really don’t want to call them traumas as I don’t feel my stuff is as severe as what you would call trauma, let’s go with ‘dents’ instead. Together with my grandmother (though not biological), still living and nearing 92 years of age; they comprise the living relatives that I remember being there my entire existence. The onset of dementia brought by a nasty fall, along with all that old age brings, is taking my grandma away from me day by day – living away from her, every time I go on a visit the pain is sharp and dull at the same time. Oh, how the forced perception of mortality (others’ and my own) hurts!

What is the point in all this? Why struggle so much, to have, to amass, to buy, to be rich…? Nothing of it goes with us – should mankind really be such a slave of its own construct?

Yes, I have been feeling terribly non-conformist. Tired of the way we live. I feel myself drowning in meaningless struggle for something I don’t see as truly purposeful or suitable for me and the happiness and serenity I long for.

Any thoughts or advice? Am I alone in this?

(I did go a long way on this one, didn’t I? Sorry folks!)